


Parents

by Nisa



Series: Tatooine AU [3]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Family, Growing Up, Jedi in love, M/M, Tatooine
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-25
Updated: 2016-07-25
Packaged: 2018-07-26 17:33:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,886
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7583377
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nisa/pseuds/Nisa
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>All it takes to be good parents is show some good example and raise a child in love.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Parents

*

Luke made sure that Aunt Beru was in the kitchen, cooking a soup out of mushrooms that Uncle Owen had picked from vaporators on the previous day (the pleasant smell was already filling his nostrils) and then cautiously sneaked in the Larses' bedroom. He was fully aware, of course, that getting in their private room was not a good thing to do, but he had no better idea of how to find the right answer to his important question. Only there, hanging above the low nightstand covered with Aunt Beru’s hair pins, japor combs and small bottles and tubes (Luke had no idea what she needed them for, he had never seen any of such at home), was a small mirror in a simple wooden frame. Luke shut the door and rose on tiptoe - he had celebrated his fifth birthday not so long ago and still had to stand on tiptoe to reach the most interesting things - unless, of course, one of his parents put him on his shoulders, rising Luke to a height that made him dizzy and breathless with excitement.

It had all started on the previous evening, when he and the Larses children were in their beds, chatting before sleep.  
“All children take after their parents, that’s for sure,” Brian had said, weightily. He was the eldest of the company, and thought his authority to be unquestionable.  
“Yeah, sure they do”, his sister had concurred. “I am like Mom and Brian’s taken after Dad. And you, Luke… Uh, it’s hard to tell which of your parents you’ve taken after!”  
“Of course, it’s not hard to tell!” Luke had protested immediately. “It’s clear as day! I'm like… uh, well…”  
Suddenly he'd fallen silent, lost what to say. Luckily for him, Aunt Beru had entered the bedroom at that very moment and sternly told them it was time to sleep, reminding them of school early in the morning. Unlike his cousins, Luke didn’t have to go to school yet, but he had obediently turned over anyway and had pretended to be falling asleep, his hand under his cheek. Of course it wasn't hard to tell which of his parents he had taken after; he just hadn't worked it out yet. He would tell his friends tomorrow, after they were back from school.

Luke stood on tiptoe in front of the mirror, scrutinizing his face which was still slightly smeared with Aunt’s jam after breakfast. He had blond hair and blue eyes, just like… That’s where the trouble began: both his parents were blue-eyed and fair-haired. Luke mused for a while and started to make faces. First, he smirked with a corner of his lips, then pouted and frowned, then crossed his arms on his chest and thoughtfully rubbed his chin. But no matter what he did, no striking resemblance appeared in the mirror reflection. Finally, a better idea came to his mind, but in that instant the door opened and Aunt Beru appeared in the doorframe.

“There you are, my sweet pea,” she said, somewhat surprised, but not annoyed. Luke found her funny because she always invented silly nicknames for him and combed his hair as if he couldn’t do it himself, but overall she was nice, and usually he enjoyed being brought to the Larses if not for too long, of course.  
“I’ve been looking for you everywhere. What are you doing here?”  
“What do you think?” Luke turned away from the mirror and gave her a thoughtful glance. Ben would have said that it was not polite to answer a question with another question, but Ben was not there, and the matter was urgent. “Is my hair curly?”  
Aunt Beru sat on the edge of the bed, becoming level with him, and stroked his thin tousled honey-colored hair, smoothing it.  
“A little,” she said. “Here, on the ends. But if we gave you a short haircut, all the curls would be cut off. Why do you ask?”  
“I’ve been thinking,” Luke sat down beside her. “Who do I look like, Dad or Ben? If my hair is curly, I must have taken after Dad.”  
Aunt Beru burst out laughing, not that there was anything funny in what he had just said.  
“There's nothing to think so hard about. Of course, you look like your Daddy. Ben has nothing to do with that, nothing at all.”  
Luke shrugged his shoulders. Aunt Beru was nice, but weird. All children took after their parents, this meant that Ben had a great deal to do with that. But he saw no reason to argue since she was not able to grasp such trivial things.

Brian and Ollie returned home soon after. They talked their mother into allowing them to do their homework later in the afternoon, when Luke would be taken home, and called him to play hide-and-seek in the yard.  
“You know what?” he said before closing his eyes and starting to count to ten. “I think I’ve taken after both.”

*

 

Luke was nibbling the top of his pencil in concentration, staring at the golden dust floating in the sunbeam from the window. The classroom was quiet, everyone had already started writing something on the papers given by the teacher, and Luke was the only one who still couldn’t think what to write. Of course, the theme of the composition was as simple as a pie. Honestly, they could have given a more interesting task to eight-year-olds than describe their family, and a free topic would have been the best of all. He would have preferred something like “Describe the difference between ASTF88 engine and its previous version ASTF87; suggest modifications to increase the maximum allowed speed in 1.5 times”. That could have been a far easier subject since Dad had explained it all to him on the previous day. And most importantly, he wouldn’t have had to addle his brain with deciding which things were alright to reveal and which should be kept in secret. But there he was, breaking his head over it, and all because of what Ben called 'safety and conspiracy reasons'. Deep inside, Luke kept hoping that one day Dad would say, "To the kriffing hell with all that safety and conspiracy!" And Ben would first appear annoyed as usual. "Can’t you mind your language? At least in front of a child?" - But then would eventually agree. But, to Luke’s great disappointment and in spite of the fact that they argued a lot, his parents were totally unanimous when it came to that.

Luke sighed deeply and, sliding into reverie, abstractedly started to sketch the nose of a starfighter with precise movements of his pencil. He envied his classmates a little bit. He wished he had been able, too, to write so easily about the truth. “My parents are Jedi,” he would have written then. “And war heroes. They teach me the ways of the Force, and Dad made me a training lightsaber, and when I grow up, I’ll have a real one, like Dad and Ben. I already know some Shien and Soresu, and I can parry attacks. Ben says our inner yard is a good training ground, almost as good as grounds in the Temple, but I’ve noticed how sad his eyes become every time he mentions it. The Emperor has destroyed the Temple and would have killed every last Jedi if Dad was not among the defenders during the attack. I will defend people, too, when I grow up. By the way, one day we will fly away from here and conquer the Emperor, it’s just that, as Ben says, our time has not come yet. Well, he says it to Dad, not to me, but I often hear them discuss things when they think I am busy with my homework and not listening. Also…”  
“Skywalker!”  
Luke gave a start, distracted from his musings, and looked up. The teacher was towering him, shaking her head in disapproval.  
“You have fifteen minutes left,” she said. “And you are supposed to write a composition, this is not a drawing lesson!”  
Luke hurriedly erased the sketch and started writing under her gaze: “My family…”  
She nodded and stepped aside, and Luke had nothing to do but continue.

“My family is Dad and Ben,” he wrote. “They say I had a mother, but she died when I was born, and I don’t remember her. I saw her only on a holo. My Dad is good at all mechanical things and can assemble any droid. His workshop is famous even beyond the Dune sea. I am not boasting, this is true! I will learn it all when I grow older. Ben can be good at fixing things, too, when there is a real need for that. Last month our speeder got broken. And the next morning the sandstorm brought a poisonous spider to our threshold and it nearly bit me when I opened the door, but Dad pushed me away just in time, so the spider bit him instead of me. It took Ben five minutes to fix the speeder, and then he rushed for the antidote to the Hutts. I mean, Ben can fix things, too, he just doesn’t particularly like it. But he knows everything about everything, he really does! Whatever I ask him about, he always has a reply. He told me about history, geography, astronomy, and about different books. It’s no wonder that he teaches children. I wish he worked in my school, but my parents decided that our last names should never be mentioned together, for safety reasons.”  
Luke looked pensively at the last sentence and thoroughly erased it, for the very same reasons.

“His pupils like him a lot. When we walk together in the part of Anchorhead where his school is, someone always comes shouting, "Teacher Ben!" And their parents invite us for a glass of bantha milk when it’s blazing hot. I love listening to Ben telling something, or watching Dad fixing things. But best of all I love it when we are together, all the three of us. When they teach me things,” he wrote carefully and cautiously. “Or when we are just sitting at the table in the evening, and they tell me stories from their life, and we laugh. Oh, and it was plain great when last year Dad persuaded Ben to go see Boonta Eve podrace. Honestly, I think, it would have been even greater if Dad had participated, but Ben didn’t like that idea, though it seems to me that Dad could have persuaded him and Ben would have agreed, but he would get all worried then, and Dad didn’t want to make Ben all worried and upset, not that he said so out loud, but some things are obvious, aren’t they?” Luke re-read the last sentence and decided that it needed to be edited - it was too long and complicated, and Ben had always said that a well-cultured person could effectively express ideas in a short and clear way. But the teacher was already collecting the papers, and he had no time left.

“Anyway, I really enjoyed the podrace,” wrote Luke hurriedly as a conclusion. “And when I grow up, I want to be like Dad and Ben.”

When Luke was walking out of the classroom, he felt relieved. Maybe not all the commas were in their right places, and it was a pity he didn’t have time to describe the podrace in full detail, but, despite all that, he was content. The composition was not bad at all. And most importantly, he had managed to write nothing but the truth.

*

 

Probably it was all because of the speeder. After the lessons, Luke’s classmates gathered around it in the school yard, and Luke, beaming with pride, eagerly explained where they had put the speed selector and how the accelerator pedal had been modified, so that it was possible to start off at the third speed with a light touch of a foot.

He and Dad had assembled it themselves. Ben, at first, had been horrified by the idea.  
“What,” he looked utterly unable to believe his eyes. “Do you seriously think that a child can ride THIS alone?!”  
Ben spoke as if some words were made of capital letters only.  
“In the entire Galaxy, there is NOT A SINGLE PLANET where a driving license for this kind of transport is given before the age of sixteen! Well, maybe fifteen at some places… But Luke is ONLY eleven!”  
Then it was Dad’s turn to stare at Ben as if Ben had grown a third eye right in the middle of his forehead.  
“He is ALREADY eleven! And he is MY son!”  
Luke didn’t like it when his parents argued and sometimes tried to offer a compromise solution (which was usually followed by a command not to interfere and go to his room) but this time he had entirely and enthusiastically sided with his father.  
“Yes, Ben”, he said, making puppy-dog eyes. “Remember, when Dad won the podrace and, by the way, made it possible for you and Mom to leave this planet, he was only…”  
“Oh, Force,” Ben brought his hands to his head, turning to the door of the workshop in defeat, and muttered to himself, “I must be cursed to have to deal with Skywalkers for all my life…”  
Dad grinned victoriously and winked to Luke, and Luke couldn’t help a happy giggle.  
That was how he had become the only pupil in the class who had a speeder of his own and was allowed to ride it to school by himself.

“Dad says we can make it even faster,” he said, stroking the handlebar with a loving gesture.  
“What’s so special about your Daddy?” said Deak suddenly and narrowed his eyes.  
He was standing at a distance, his arms folded across his chest, and was the only one who didn’t share the enthusiasm of the others. Deak was the eldest boy in the class and the tallest of all, too. He wasn’t friends with any of his classmates, only with a couple of older boys, and rumor had it that they went to cantinas without their parents and dealt with smugglers, but Luke had never tried to find out whether those rumors were true. He didn’t know much about Deak and hadn’t been particularly interested to know.  
“Your Daddy is a waste of space,” Deak said firmly and spat on the sand. “Your parents are nothing but…”  
Luke first thought that he had misheard it, but Deak repeated the word over and over again, drawling vowels with a sneer.  
“Disgusting perverts,” he offered as an explanation. “Mom thinks so, too, and…”  
He didn’t have time to finish, because Luke jumped on him and hit his nose with a fist. Deak hit back at once and Luke felt a taste of blood in his mouth. Ben had always said that if there was any chance for a peaceful settlement of a conflict, it had to be used for as long as possible, but Luke wasn’t in a mood to remember wise lectures. Blinded with rage, he rolled on the sand, striking blows to his enemy, until he got such a punch in his stomach that involuntary tears sprang from his eyes. Then, not quite realizing what he was doing, he raised a hand and Force-pushed Deak to several meters aside, and the other boy tumbled hard on the sand.  
“My parents are Jedi!” shouted Luke, smearing tears and blood across his face. “They'll cut off your head! Or I’ll do it myself!”  
He came to his senses and choked up on his words, terrified, but a burst of laughter was the only reaction that followed. Even the children who minutes ago had tried to part the two fighters and were on Luke’s side, now cast each other disbelieving glances and couldn’t suppress amused giggles.  
“Yeah, sure,” hissed Deak through clenched teeth. “Tell me another! And my Dad is the Emperor!”  
He made a scornful grimace and run to the corner just as he saw the teacher who was approaching them, attracted by the noise.  
“He's just being jealous,” said Ollie without a hint of doubt, wiping Luke's face with a wet handkerchief, when all the others had left and they were alone in the schoolyard. “You’ve got two daddies, and he’s got none.”  
But Luke felt sick at heart. He had been stupid and short-tempered enough to give away his parents, give away himself and, worst of all, the mean Deak was still unpunished. The mere thought of that made Luke choke in rage and clench his fists. No one had the right to insult Dad and Ben.

Luke didn’t know how exactly he looked with a broken lip and a black eye. But it must have been expressive enough, since Dad's face changed at once as soon as he saw Luke, and his hand unconsciously reached for the air at the place on his hip where, for many years in the past, his lightsaber had been. At first Luke wanted to say that he fell from the speeder - there was no reason to upset his parents, and besides, it was a question of honor to deal with his enemy on his own. But in the end he was sitting at the table, inhaling the smell of antiseptic that Ben had richly applied to his injuries, and describing the fight in detail.  
“It’s because he used bad language,” Luke said gloomily. “But you don’t like bad language, Ben, so don’t ask me what exactly he said.”  
His parents exchanged glances and Luke, taken by a new fit of anger, continued, gritting his teeth: “He’d better not come near me again, that nasty, ugly, mean coward, or I’ll teach him!”  
Luke could hardly breathe with fury and even his voice sounded different.  
“I hate him!”  
Ben frowned.  
“Anger is the path to the Dark Side, Luke. Pull yourself together.”  
Luke stared at Dad out of the corners of his eyes, remembering how the latter’s face had contorted when had seen Luke’s damaged eye, and silently searching for support. But, to his utter surprise, Dad took him by the shoulders and shook him firmly, never leaving his intense, strict eyes from Luke’s own.  
“You will listen to Ben! Learn to control your emotions. Don’t tell me how hard it can be. But that’s the only way, Luke, otherwise they’ll control you, and you must be stronger than that. However powerful your anger is, rule it, or you’ll be lost”.  
Luke ducked his head. Sometimes Dad was even worse than Ben with all Ben’s lectures. However, when the next day he saw Deak at the school doors, he inhaled deeply and passed him by, his chin proudly lifted and his entire mind concentrated on the effort not to hit that already damaged nose again.

Luke was a Jedi, and the Jedi were masters of themselves and did not seek revenge. Surprisingly, he discovered that this way it was much easier to breathe.

*

 

Luke was fully aware that what he was doing was not very nice. Putting it straight, he was ashamed of himself, but his situation seemed completely hopeless. And after all, they had said it many times themselves, the best way to learn something was to follow an example, and who else’s example could he follow? So Luke stood near a barely opened door, hardly breathing at all, trying his best not to give himself away. He had hidden his presence in the Force, too, though maybe it was not as necessary as he had thought, lost in each other, they were hardly able to notice what was happening around.

It wasn’t his fault, merely a coincidence. Just this morning Ollie had asked him to come to her place after dinner and help her with a droid that had got broken, leaving the whole homestead and the crops without water. Aunt Beru and Uncle Owen had gone to see their relatives in Mos Espa for a couple of days, Brian was passing his exams at the flying training school and was expected home only by the end of the week, and Luke knew it was not likely that he would get another convenient opportunity soon to talk to her about everything in private. That was why he had quickly made up his mind. He would repair the droid, then tell her that he loved her and ask her to marry him, sealing his declaration with a kiss. The first part of the plan was the easiest. He was not so sure about the second one, but he had already learnt his speech by heart. And the last part threatened to be a disaster, but there was no way to let Ollie guess that, despite his age of fourteen, he had no idea how to do the kissing.

Therefore Luke stood and watched. Apparently, there was nothing too difficult about it, at least, it appeared so from the outside. He would do the same, wrap his arms around her shoulders, tilt his head slightly to avoid their noses getting in the way, and probably she would close her eyes just like that and tangle her fingers into his hair. Everything was simple, except one thing: suddenly, Luke realized that he had no idea what to do to make her face lighten with the same expression of joy and bliss, as if nothing else in the world existed, as if the whole life was concentrated in this moment overfilled with sunlight.

Luke’s heart clenched painfully with unfamiliar longing. He turned away and quickly went to his room, took his backpack and threw in some instruments he would need for droid repair.  
“Force,” he pleaded, surprised at the passion of his plea. “Please, let me be loved that much, too.”

*

 

“General? General Skywalker? Will there be any other orders?”  
Luke woke from an instant’s reverie, shook his head and waved his hand to switch off the holoviewer that showed three-dimensional schemes and maps.  
“No, Admiral Antilles. Let’s call it a day. Everyone is free.”  
Luke knew that all his people were exhausted by the stress of the last months, and, as a good leader, understood that it was time for a respite.

A clouded sky and a dim sunset could be seen through the high windows of the Senate building. His home was not far away - he lived now in the apartment at 500 New Republic (previously known as 500 Empire and 500 Republic), where, as he had been told, his mother had once lived, too. But he was having a hard time trying to get used to this new home. No one except his sister knew that every evening after he arrived there, he lay down in darkness and silence, hugging his knees, and sleep eluded him in spite of all his exhaustion. An old ragged stuffed bantha was always there, near his pillow. He had taken it with him when he had left his home three years ago. He had so thirstily craved for adventures then; he had been so impatient to show what he was capable of, that he had hardly regretted leaving the place of his happy childhood. He hadn’t even thought that his childhood was a happy one - he had no idea that it could have been any different. Now he was almost twenty-three, he was a Jedi and the Rebels’ hero, and he cried every night before falling asleep.

It had been a month, but he could still see their last battle as clearly as though it had happened earlier the same day. They had planned to reach the station’s generator, alter the programming and fly away at the last moment, before everything blew up. Their plan had been seamless, but no one could have known that someone would betray them and they would get trapped.  
“Run, Luke!” Father had cried out as he was deflecting a shower of blaster bolts from all directions. “Go to the shuttle, contact Biggs, tell him to come and help us!”  
Luke should have guessed what his father had had in mind, should have glimpsed it in his eyes, should have seen the last vow of endless love and the unbearable pain of the last farewell in their deepest blue, but all he had seen was his father rushing to the middle of the enemy squadron, freeing his way to the generator, and Ben following him without a split second’s hesitation.  
Luke had hardly had time to fly to a distance where their shuttle communications were not being jammed anymore and was about to contact the Rebel cruiser, when Father and Ben blew up the station. This explosion brought an end to the Emperor, to his sinister apprentice and to all the high commanders of the Imperial fleet. On countless planets everyone danced in the streets and set off fireworks that day, to celebrate the coming of the long-awaited freedom. And for Luke there was nothing left even to bury.

He pressed the bantha to his cheek and listened to the slanting rain pattering on the window. Once, when he was a child, he had come across the mention of rain as he was reading a story on Ben’s datapad, and he had asked him, what it meant, rain? Ben had started explaining something about atmospheric phenomena and water circulation, and Father had just laughed. “Don’t listen to him, Luke. Rain is water pouring from the sky. It can be very intense, as if someone has turned over a bucketful of water. You know what it can be like when a sandstorm starts and the wind throws sand at the window? It can be the same with rain, and your window gets all wet.” At that time, Luke could hardly believe such things were possible at all.  
Now the rain lulled him; it almost sounded like a sandstorm behind the window. The wind was strong, but Luke had nothing to fear in the cozy warmth of his bed. Father had kissed him good night, pulled a blanket over him, and, through his slumber, Luke could hear him talking to Ben softly in the other room. He couldn’t make out what they were saying, but the sound of their voices was soothing - no matter how wild the sandstorm could get, they were with him, so Luke was completely safe.  
“Luke!”  
Luke smiled and brought the bantha closer; his dream was too good.  
“Wake up, son!”  
He jumped up on his bed - he must be going insane, hearing voices so clearly inside his head, feeling the presence in the Force that could no longer be there. He looked round the dark room and saw his parents. He shook his head, rubbed his eyes thoroughly, but they were still there, shimmering in blue light near the window, and Luke could see raindrops on transparisteel through their transparent clothes. They looked younger and eternity, profound and serene, now shone in their eyes.  
“Dad,” whispered Luke. “Ben…”  
He was a general and a war hero, but tears streamed down his face as if he was just a boy.  
“We're sorry, Luke,” said Father with a guilty smile. “We just had no choice.”  
“Death is a part of life,” Ben remained true to himself and even after death hadn’t lost his penchant for lecture. “Sooner or later, everyone dies. Our time is over, and you - you have many things to do.”  
“But how,” Luke made an effort to repress a sob. “How shall I manage without you?  
“You know everything,” said Father with utter conviction. “You can do anything. We taught you everything we knew. You’ll do fine, Luke.”  
“We believe in you,” added Ben. “And you know it yourself, it’s written in the Jedi Code that…”  
Ben started to say something about the Code and the duty, but Luke didn’t listen. He stared at his father, and his father stared back, and Luke suddenly realized what it meant when people said that a single gaze could be worth a thousand words.  
The dawn was breaking, and the ghosts became even more transparent, fading in the air.  
“You're the best parents anyone could ever have!” Luke cried out, reaching out as though he could make them stay for another moment with the help of the Force. “I love you!”  
It seemed to him at the last second that Father brought a hand to his eyes because he was crying too and Ben wrapped an arm around him and waved goodbye.

Luke sat for a long time with his eyes closed. Tears kept rolling down his face, but he felt strangely comforted and serene. He knew what he had to do, knew how to do it, and, in spite of all his sorrow, his heart was bursting with love for this endless and complicated new world that spread beyond the rain-wetted window. After all, for as long as he could remember, he had known so much love that now it was a good time to share it.

The room was filled with sunshine when he finally opened his eyes and wiped away his tears. The rain had stopped. The morning sun poured bright light on the immense city and sparkled at the spires of the far-away Temple.

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted on LJ in 2011. Written for mlledefer ♥


End file.
